The Amputee Network Blog: Prosthetic maker says job is a joy: The Register-Guard, Eugene, Ore.

The Amputee Network Blog: Prosthetic maker says job is a joy: The Register-Guard, Eugene, Ore.

Most men are seriously broken/ and women not to far behind them

Ok ladies. This isn't going to be one of those politically correct blogs or how wonderful life is at 50. The fact of the matter is, is it sucks getting older and seeing men using women like they are dish rags.

I know not all men are like that and perhaps it is just my perspective, but I really feel like Mom's who have male children have done their male children wrong. For that matter Male or Female because "YOU ARE THE ROLE MODEL OF WHAT YOUR CHILDREN SEE AS BEHAVIORS THEY COPY"  If it isn't that they have done everything for them, they didn't do enough in a way that developed a healthy picture of what, where and how a woman should be treated. Most men look at their mothers and if their fathers were assholes and their mothers door mats, guess what, yeah these men grow up thinking it is okay not to have to put any effort into being loving, caring, considerate or think of anyone other than themselves. Now we have generations of these slugs that have no idea how to treat a woman. Not that all women are looking for someone with class, style etc. but come on already. I was just realizing how many young males are being taught by their mothers that it is ok to not communicate. "Oh he's just like my or his dad". Oh he's just a loner, he is shy. He only speaks if he has something to say. You know what! Bullshit! male children need to be taught when someone speaks to them they need to not only speak back but engage. They also need to learn how to make eye contact. It's called participating. It isn't to say they have to be phoney but they do need to be taught social skills instead of saying it's okay to not learn how to participate or engage. That is a common thread now of these old men who are getting booted by their women because the women are tired of the neglect, the lack of effort to work on the relationship. I know this goes both ways.

Yes I know men only have one side of their brain. Again lets go ahead and justify and make excuses for these people. Then when they've been divorced about 3 times or are with the same person cause the woman is as broken as he is and afraid and not trusting of her own abilities to make it on her own stay in the relationship and continue to allow a diminished capacity just to keep the peace. Where is the LOVE?!

I see so much of that on these dating sites. I get hits from men with Winks. It's like that is the all of their ability to communicate. I guess I am supposed to role over and drop em for that!  I guess that is suppose to be impressive. Then when you wink back, he winks again, then you do it again and those go on and on. It's insanity I tell you! I had one today that I  had to pull information out of him just to get him to tell me what he wanted out of the website. OMGosh! If in the book Women are from venus and Men are from Mars(incidentally biased and written by a man) As the author states men need to feel needed, well if they are willing to put anything into, how they Hell is a women going to know how to do that.

The selection on these sites are horrible at best. I have met some men but for me it is narrowed even more. I know at times I think, shit I should have put up with the silence, the lack of conversation, the inability show affection or sexual passion or just have a calm conversation with an adult instead a grown man going on 13 maybe.  Ok I am done. Maybe tomorrow I will feel differently but I don't think so. I think these website need to be exposed for what they are. And women need to know they are not alone. I am sure they know that. Shoot, you have these women who have it all and are really attractive and still after 1 year on there looking. Sacramento sucks for a quality selection of men that are single. Unless you are willing to just overlook them playing and not committing, not talking, not doing anything that their profile say's they like doing. Most are looking for you know what! That's Cool if that is what you want, but ladies protect yourself.! Ok I am done for tonite. Thank you for letting me get that off my chest.

Satisfaction

It was so much fun anticipating September 4th 2009, making sure I had all the snacks, getting up early and heading to Trina Babies house. And off we go to Muir Woods National Forrest.

My niece Trina and I had decided to take a hike, we planned it for a week. Kind of like a break out or something.

In 13 years I hadn't gone to do any of those type of activities, let alone with my family. I thought I would try something new and start reconnecting with my family that I really enjoy spending time with. I used to do short little walks with friends but not with the mind set of hiking.

Oh don't get me wrong, it wasn't this fill up the back pack, roll up the tent and the sleeping bag hike, but it was absolutely beautiful, and somewhere in the walk a true sense of satisfaction rained all over me.

We traveled to Mill Valley and went to Muir Woods, National Forest and got front row parking. Yeah! Because when we were leaving people were walking for 2 miles to get parking to go into the park. It's all aces!

My niece had said we couldn't take food in to the park or have a picnic there. Me being the obstinate one thought bull S*&T, I'll take what I want. Well it was true. I didn't even try to take anything in, playing by the rules I guess. I guess because of the environment and the animals they don't want the animals to eat people food. Or maybe bears, I don't really know, and didn't bother to ask.We decided to take the Alice Eastwood Trail. Well ok, I thought I was somewhat in shape, man was I wrong. By the time I got to the top, the crack of my you know what was crying a river. Oh my goodness, I was whining carry me to Trina, it was a 40 degree bank up for almost a mile.

Then coming down the hill, Trina & I are all talking not paying attention and here comes jumping out of the mountain a deer. Like the mom dear. It startled us both and we started running. Well when we stopped running and started walking, I noticed the baby was following us. It was funny because I'm trying to be strong and show no fear, so I am trying to calm Trina down telling her, don't worry Mija the Momma and baby aren't the ones you have to worry about, it's the Buck, and just then when I said that this beautiful but somewhat intimidating Buck with about 3 point antlers bounced out and started walking kind of fast towards us. At which point I told Trina "RUN", Good thing I had my depends on, Trina didn't, she was upset and blamed me for her little accident. It was funny. The Buck was just protecting it's baby and the mom. So we started again downhill and ran into this family who didn't seem to know which way to go so we told them about the uphill eastwood trail and no sooner did we turn around the Buck jumped out again. I really wish I would have had my camera. This time Trina was ready, she ran behind a tree and left me standing in the road to fen for myself. Nothing happened, he was just trying to get his family across the road safely.

Men could learn something from animals on how to take care of their families.

So we went down to the little novelty shop where the bathrooms were and rested. So as we are walking away from the bathrooms, I was waiting for my niece and looked down at the ground and this little patch of leaves were moving. As I continued to watch the leaves move, I was not sure what was making them move. I became mesmorized by the movement and then all of the sudden Pop goes the Chipmunk. It was too cool. This little furry beautiful creature looking for love in all the right places. Now at this point people were wondering what the hell I was taking pictures of and a crowd had formed. And a star is born

The patch on his left shoulder was me. I edited it somehow. He is the perfect little chipmunk, huh?

What a beautiful place to spend time by yourself or with someone special, like my Niece. When

When I see this type of beauty, right then and there, there is no doubt in my mind that the God I know, is a beautiful, kind, creative, loving, happy, healthy, joyful, content, and satisfied God. And being created in that image, the rain of satisfaction for exactly who and where I am covers me like a warm blanket.

Thank You God for my life.

Spending time with my niece Trina

Hi All!

This has been such a great weekend. I just absolutely love spending time with my Niece Trina. Now that her children are growing up, she has more alone time, and me of coarse being alone well, I have alot of alone time too!  What for me makes it so nice is it helps me to see other parts of my life to focus on and look forward to, so I am not just obsessing and dwelling on the past or the future. It helps me to bring balance to my life and enjoy doing things with someone I truly enjoy the company of. 

I just truly enjoy our conversations, I feel incredibly privileged to have such a fabulous niece that I am extremely proud of. Not to mention her and I just laugh, just straight up have the kind of sense of humor that is attractive to me.  She is real too, she will tell me like it is if I get to out of line. She has never really been afraid of me. 

I love her. 

Finding the one!

Okay girls, and guys, whoever reads this. I was going to take a walk down memory lane but decided against it. 

Instead I would like to put my dating life out there. OMG! talk about frightening.  I'll tell ya what, "Going along to get along" has it's merits. Especially when you start getting older, the pool gets smaller. At one time the saying "there are plenty of fish in the sea" was valid in my 20's, 30's, and even 40's, but when you get into your 50's and have an appendage missing, and don't have the confidence you once had, shit that ocean has just turned into the kiddie pool and the fish are pretty fishie. 

I know we are not suppose to let our fears dictate the our life, but I am telling you what, the grass really isn't greener for me now, just alot more of it and some of it isn't green. It is a bit distressing because the men my age are looking for the ego booster babes, and there are so many dysfunctional women and men out there, they will find one who is going to fix there problems and meet there needs so the cycle of dysfunction continues. 

 Most of them feel like they need that infusion of youth and there are enough needy women out there to hook, until of course the chick figures out, there was a reason the guy was a catch and release specimen. No, No, not a keeper. Ohhhhhh, all this time I was cursing that x old lady for being so mean and feeling sorry for this dude, now I see why she put her size 8 Tony LLama to this guys ass and kicked him out. Then all the sudden, the same scenario takes place again, but the guy hasn't recognized he continues to attract the same kind of woman or the woman hasn't learned healthy behaviors to stop attracting broken fish. 

So anyway back to my dating. I have been doing the cyber dating thing. Man, I don't really think this is a way to meet ones true love, but because my friend pool and single friend pool is rather limited, I have been doing this. It is entertaining, but does get frustrating, since most of these men are substituting the bar scene for the cyber dating scene. Most of them are not worthy of much time, once in awhile I have found one that I will take a chance on and go out to dinner with, but not often.

The last one I went out with thought I was part of a touch and feel exhibit or something. The only thing I could say was this isn't JC Penny and no you don't get to touch all the merchandise. 

I did have one or two nice guys. One of the things I try to be is honest once we have conversed by email and I find I may have an attraction to the guy by virtue of his wit, his sense of humor, I tell them I am a BK left. Usually that weeds out the light weights and the guys just looking to get laid or who are looking for the physical and are stuck in superficial mode. The ones that have gotten beyond that are a little to serious or quiet for me, so it becomes an issue of what I am looking for. 

I find it hard to date this way. It's like a freaking interview. I just don't like it.  They are nice men, I want a nice man, but I want someone who I feel an attraction to also. 

The way they carry themselves, their ability to converse, their kindness, their thoughtfulness, there looks in some ways are but aren't important. I know when they get older they loose their hair, but if they have hair on their back, I have a hard time with that.  Call that superficial, but you don't go into a relationship thinking you're gonna change someone, it doesn't work. You either accept it, or you move on. That was the problem the first time, thinking things would change or expecting this person to change. It doesn't work like that. 

Would I have stayed in it, if I knew then what I know now. Yes, most likely I would have and probably just cheated on him like all the rest of his wife's and girlfriends did. I had to be the one with freaking morales and a conscious and the one who wanted to feel loved. Well no use crying over spilt milk, it is what it is. And really in my heart of hearts, I have never been one to settle and yes I have always been tortured by it when I have. Would I really do it again, no probably not, but If I knew then what I know now, we wouldn't have ever been together as a couple.

So now trying to get healed, and move forward does mean going out at meeting new people, I am just not sure if being with someone is something I can handle. It seems to be no fun and a lot of work. Been there done that. 

It's always a pleasure to reconnect with delightful people

I had the absolute pleasure of being contacted by a young lady I worked with in Sacramento. She actually is showing on the blog. Corkie, take bow! 

It feels really nice, when someone thinks about you and has regard for you, enough to connect with you just because they thought of you fondly. I feel honored. 

We had a chance to talk a little bit about our current status and it is amazing how many of us women out there are starting over at an older age. Our children are grown, our marriages disintegrated, and we are left to ask ourselves, who the hell are we, and what happened to that fun loving, confident woman I used to call Rachel? 

What the heck ever happened to forever? Man, isn't there any man out there that knows what open your mouth and speak means? I know that sounds harsh, but Jeez luis, so many women I speak to tell the same or similar story. 

The majority of my friends are becoming single at an older age and the chronic culprit is their men are either having affairs, had an affair, closed all the bank accounts and then told them later, after they filed the divorce papers, or just don't talk and think the relationship will just miraculously develop and thrive if they put no effort into it. And yet foolio's always end up with the younger version of us, and never really seeing their part in it. They keep running through them like disc brakes, and seem to be surprised when the bitch dumps em. And they say they are the superior species? 

I know someday that really bad taste in my mouth will wash clean. I am hoping after hundreds of gallons of mouthwash later I will wake up with this really nice taste in my mouth. The kind I remember when I felt love for the man I was next to, and he would kiss me with the sweet pure taste of love. 

Oh! that wasn't my man, but I know one of you ladies had that experience. 

A gentle reminder that there is hope. 

For now I brush and floss before I go to bed, thank God for the type of silence that happens when you live alone,  and not with someone who doesn't care to participate and can't grow a pair to do the right thing and get out, living in excruciating silence. 

Nope not me mister! Not now!  Not ever again! Don't want to! Can't make me ever again. 

Ok so anyway, the old company I used to work for, one of those most fab women Anna is helping to coordinate a reunion. Since I have a friend coming into town on July 24th, I am not sure if I will make it. If my guest wants to come with, that would be fabulous. My friend and I have been friends from the job before Affordable Health Care, Gallagher Bassett Insurance. I have watched her give birth to two other children, marry off her oldest daughter Amy and be privileged enough to meet her first grand daughter Taylor. I feel very blessed. She is one of my oldest, most trusted friends, and they are few for me. It's hard to maintain someone else's expectations of a friendship. But with my friend Karen, we just blend and go with it, and maintain a loyalty and trust  guilt or manipulation. I love her like a sister. We have had our tussles and have always worked through it.  

I am glad to have the opportunity to reconnect. 

Say Hello to my little friend

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Ok this is me 30 years ago. Betty Boop never had it so good.